Finally Get Meh Doubles!!!

Well for those of you who didn't know i went home for a few weeks in July. I must admit i made the trip with mixed feelings, for after you've lived away from home for a substantial period of time your 'real home' somehow feels less so. Lives move on, people marry, babies are born, bacchanal of all sorts happens, and when you're not there and return you do feel like a visitor in your 'old life'. However one thing that would not have changed would be the Trini staple of food and liming right? Wrong. The country of my youth, my fondly remembered 'wild days' are no more. I'm filled with bitter nostalgia and anger.

Four things have ruined it for me:
1-The introduction of the Breath-ah-lizer
2-A smoking ban.........(GASP, SPUTTER, CHOKE.......ON INDIGNATION)
3-Trinidad get too expensive to lime on a regular unless yuh rich
4- Trinis get too damn hifalutent

1-Well i go out and after meh fren drink 2 johnny wid meh he switch to shandy or green sands or some such foolishness cause he hadda drive home and he fraid d Breath-ah-lizer. Pressure. At first i say well small thing cause yuh might jus hadda pay ah lil fine. Well that's not really the case...ah fella get breath-ah-lized while ah was home. Apprantly yuh fine increases in increments according tuh how drunk yuh iz. Well he was $9000.00 TT drunk. Plus they take whey d man drivers permit for 2 years. Hmmmm puts that 'take one for the road' in perspective huh.

2-The smoking ban.....words fail me. Fuck T.G.I.F. cause that was never my scene anyway. But yuh really goin look at me with ah straight face and tell me i cayr smoke at Bobby's Bar in Curepe. Bobby's........ah seedy lil hawk an spit, whe yuh could get ah johnny and coconut or ah loaf ah kiss bread. Bobby's....sandwiched between the key maker shop and the bomb office. The same bar that i was in and had to walk outside........which is an erroneous statement since it eh hah no door so, jus pavement and bar. I hadda walk my ass outside to smoke ah cig while it have ah woman delicately vomiting on the pavement. Home sweet home. So now it was not just deciding which bar to go to but for the smokers in the group to assert their rights and demand a place with a veranda or specially designated open air smoking area. Since when we turn first world? ah cayr smoke in ah bar but ppl could still shit in latrine? I feel the heavy weight of progress marching over my body. The only plus to having a designated smoking area is that when you go out to lime like i did and have the table next to you occupied by a group of irritating Indian women who seem to all have the same box of hair colour to varying degrees in their hair. When they start fanning and fuming and whispering ....d smoke....I can feel quite vindicated in blowing it purposefully in their direction, cause my ass in d smoking area. hahahahhahhahah.

3-Prices for food and liquor in Trini iz ridiculous. I fondly remember the days when yuh could push ah 'blues' in yuh pocket and lime whole night. Now yuh better walk with yuh credit card.
everywhere like dey running competition fuh price. If yuh broke like yuh hadda drink bay rum oui.

4-My people gettin too damn big fuh dey boots. Imagine is big hot sun evening, in ah sports bar looking at ah lil football. A local Kim K. walk in, all big handbag, flat-ironed hair and huge sunglasses. So she orders a glass of red wine.........note ah say big hot sun evening in ah sports bar. Everybody have ah crackberry stapled to their ass and if i saw just one more bitch with ah fauxhawk ah was jus gonna buss.

Well next post I'll go into the bake and shark, doubles and gringos grillers........i need to go back into my happy place before i write about them. From looking at No Reservations and Bizarre Foods i realise i might never be considered a real foodie. I seem to lack the penchant for organ meat which they seem to think is the cat's pajamas. Well be that as it may, i think my ever expanding gut might think differently.............. And i still think cooked liver smell like ass.